Hold On to Them

This morning I was thinking about a play I watched with my students last month entitled, "Mother Hicks."   It was an excellent UVU Noorda Theatre production and I was unexpectedly surprised at our students appropriate theatre behavior.  As such, I actually listened to and enjoyed the play set in the era of the Great Depression.  There was one scene that particularly moved me to tears.  My students were curious about my tears and I made up some lame explanation of why I was crying. I've had a little time to mull it over in my mind and wanted to flesh it out this morning in my blog.

The dialog takes place between the main character and her past foster care parent she finds living as a hobo with his son.  She had originally been abandoned because this family could not longer afford to take care of her. She discovers her foster siblings have been pawned off to various families to care for them or work for them. The dialogue ensues, "You had a family but you just threw it all away. "  The desolate looking father replies, "I just couldn't hold on to them. "  She shoots back, "You could have held on to them."  As she walks away and he asks where she is going, she states, "What do you care?"

Perhaps the power of the scene came from identifying closely with the  "thrown away" little girl and also the forlorn, trodden down man.  I've been working with a handful of students for the past 5 years that have been similarly abandoned- thrown away children with failed adoptions that nobody wants back because they are too dangerous and unstable; or a little girl who was literally thrown in a garbage dumpster; or severely traumatized children taken away by social services with parents who "couldn't hold on" to their own children because of drugs, neglect, or physical or sexual abuse rendering the child's environment unsafe.  Yet parent and child yearn for each other, even if it's subconsciously.  The child's pain of being discarded-for whatever reason and how it affects their ability to trust and care for others.  The parent's despair that they were unable to care for their children and keep them close.  It's a desolate scene played out daily in social services.

I probably identified more with the father.  As he explained the various locations of his would be family, I thought of my own children-where they are-what they are doing.  Who is taking care of them or how they are learning to take care of themselves.  Though they are now all technically "adults" learning to take care of themselves, I will always want to care for them in some form or fashion.  They are my children I'm desperately trying to "hold on to"  not just for this life but throughout the eternities.

I picture clasped hands as a child dangles over a deep abyss-"don't let him fall." How both parent and child desperately seek to "hold on."  Don't let go.  Not only gravity, but entropy, the gradual decline of order, threatens to tear us apart; separating families forever.  Destruction of the family into chaos is ever present.  The temple is like a great celestial observatory-not only see what's coming (impending cosmic doom) but to prepare for it with it's opposite-creation and order.  The ordinances-to put in order-to seal together families.  The temple and the gospel of Jesus Christ give us everything we need to help us "hold on to" our precious families.  I don't want my children to walk away shaking their heads and accusing me of "not caring."  I care.  I'm committed to hold on to them.  And though I do not have super-human strength, I have access to someone who does...Jesus Christ.  It is his strong arm in whom I can trust to strengthen my resolve to "hold on."

Having History Together

This morning I was thinking not only about the history of the Provo City Center Temple, but my personal history with this sacred edifice.  Though all temples are special-this temple has special meaning to residents of Provo and to me personally.    This was the building where I received my university diploma.  I have a great graduation picture wearing my black cap and gown, huge smile, set against the backdrop of spectacular stain glassed windows.  This was the building  where I spent many a 2-hour stake conference encouraging my children to be reverent while stuffing sour patch candies in my mouth A building where I looked down from the balcony after making our way to the available hard benches and saw the prophet, Gordon B. Hinkley who just happened to be in town.  This was the building I passed every day for the last 5 years while traveling down University Ave to get to work.  I remember the day it was in flames and how heartsick the community was about losing such a treasure.  I watched as the workman gutted the destroyed building.  Nothing appeared to have survived except the charred brick shell of a once glorious historic building.  It looked liked a war zone complete with a bombed out building. 

I rejoiced with other members of the church when the prophet, Thomas Monson, announced the church would be using the remains of the Provo Tabernacle to build a new Temple.  This would become another one of the Church's "historic" temples.  This building site had connections to Brigham Young as he designated the area as a good place to build a meeting house.  The original tabernacle was designed by the same architect as the Salt Lake Temple-Truman Angel.  After the original tabernacle was torn down, a new tabernacle was built a few blocks from the BYU academy building with funds raised by my first boyfriend's ancestor, Abraham Smoot.  (Mark always told me I was so "lucky" to be dating a "Smoot.") The bell from the old tabernacle now resides in front of the Marriot Center-we rang the victory bell quite a lot in the 80's.   BYU and the tabernacle had continued association not only for graduations but university leaders used the tabernacle as a public venue to bring the likes of Rachmaninoff, Helen Keller,  Robert Frost to name a few. 

 Being such a historic site,  the charred brick walls were braced and put on stilts allowing the construction site to literally become an archaeological dig.  As I daily drove by this never ending construction project, I wondered what was going on and why it was taking so long to construct this temple.  I knew they were working on the foundation, but I didn't realize they were looking for artifacts under the foundations of both the old and new tabernacle sites.  I appreciated the symbolic significance as I was married in the stunning Provo Courthouse overlooking the construction site; one more reference of having "history together" with this would be temple.

So I guess it was no surprise when I walked into the City Center Temple open house and got choked up when one of the volunteers greeted us saying, "Welcome to the Temple"  Talk about  a makeovers!  And this was a makeover of a pioneer friend. The antique replica furnishings and decor, intricate woodwork and beautiful stain glass windows pay homage to earlier pioneer times. As such, they inspire me and build my faith to be like these early pioneer saints;  building with faith, one step at a time, one brick at a time.  It is glorious.  I look forward to doing temple service within those walls.

When gazing at the temple from a nearby restaurant window, I asked my kids to share some of their thoughts.  My daughter made the connection between adversity and opportunity.  If the tabernacle would have never burnt down, we would never had this temple; now there is beauty from ashes.  No matter how burned out or decimated we feel,  God helps us re-build, re-store our lives into something glorious.  With dedication to the Lord, we can make our own burned down lives-holy.  Over each temple is engraved the words, "HOLINESS TO THE LORD."   This Provo City Center Temple stands as a beacon of hope; Hope for a glorious resurrection.  Hope for a glorious change from ruin to temple.  Hope breathing  I too can change for the better.

I love my pioneer friend, The Provo City Center Temple.  I'm so thankful for having history together.