This morning I was thinking about a beautiful sight from a recent Easter celebration with my mother and father in-law. Betty had recently returned from rehabilitation and is recovering from 2 major surgeries on her neck and back. Both surgeries were intended to decrease her persistent pain and increase her mobility. It did not have that outcome but with time we hope her mobility will improve and she will also find relief from pain.
Throughout my 35+ years of knowing this woman, I have seen her deal with numerous physical ailments, as well as the normal degeneration associated with aging. She is a survivor and a fighter with incredible grit. But more than just her incredible will to survive is her commitment to personal connection and service. A recent example was when she called to invite me over to dinner.
Betty's dinner table provides a symbol of her commitment to physically gather her family and friends. She prefers sit down formal dinners, expects and demonstrates good manners, and wants people to engage in appropriate dinner conversation. Nothing is ever rushed. As was promised in her patriarchal blessing, she has always had enough food on her table to feed her family and an army of other people. But the food isn't as important as Betty's desire to foster connection through communication and being in each other's presence.
Last week, Betty was less involved in the conversations around the table. It may have been because she was not feeling well. Decreased ability with hearing and sight can also be isolating for many people. It doesn't surprise me that Betty fights that as well. She pushes through her limitations to connect with others.
An example of this behavior was after I made a passing comment about a desire to accompany my best friend on one of her humanitarian service missions to Africa. There is a group that provides vision services for individuals in need and opportunities for lay people to assist with the process. After finishing our dessert, I observed Betty scrolling through her phone. I know social media is very important to Betty and she is extremely active in posting positive messages for her million or so friends. However, I didn't quite know why she found it so important at that moment to be on Facebook, especially since she is usually so present when interacting with current company.
I observed her holding her phone close, squinting and contorting her face as if she was intently looking for something. Betty put incredible effort into this process. Finally, she said aloud, "I found it!" She then proceeded to show me the name of her friend who organizes trips to Africa for humanitarian service. She also followed up with a Facebook message for the contact.
Betty connects with people and then she helps other people connect as well. She serves with all her might. People are the most important thing. She serves and continues to serve-no matter her circumstances, no matter how inconvenient, no matter how much pain she is currently feeling. It is such a beautiful sight.
I didn't really connect the dots when I was with her, but the next morning, this image of Betty squinting on her phone popped into my mind. As I told my son about his grandmother's service, I teared up. It was an image that lingered with me throughout the week. It is an image I'm inspired by. It is an image that helps me see what matters most. I honor her. I so appreciate her vision.
