I can hear the voice of my father exclaiming in frustration, "For Crying Out Loud Erin, Will you please ...(fill in the blank.) I'm sure like most children, I did things that made my parents' job more difficult. But lately, I've had some experiences in the last couple of weeks that have given new shape to this exclamation, "crying out loud."
I am a loud person but most of the time when I cry, it is a silent expression. Crying is one of my frequent expressions when I feel something deeply in my heart. Something triggers the emotion. It pierces my heart, like an arrow-a good arrow hitting a spiritual nerve. Something that feels true. Something that feels right.
Last week I participated in the nationwide "hand off" protest with my daughter. She was meeting up with her friends at the Utah State Capitol. They gave me a sign I was happy to hold saying, "We the people..in order to form a more perfect union- establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare. I had never been to a protest and found it pretty impressive to gather with so many others and read their very creative signs giving voice to their concerns.
As a former cheerleader, it really just felt like a glorified pep rally as we shouted in unison, "Yay! or "Boo!" and waved our signs high in the air. We listened to various speakers, listened to music, sang, and chanted. I don't remember what the exact words were, but when our side of the mass yelled, "Just Fight!" I found myself crying out loud.
I may have been extra sensitive to the concept of fighting for rights as I had just finished the mini series, "Sons of Liberty" and was reminded of the greatness in spirit, even the fighting spirit of our founding fathers. But more than that, the whole protest experience reminded me of a familiar scene from my past. Long before my mortal birth I believe I stood in some type of mass gathering, fighting or adding my voice, crying out for freedom. I didn't believe in Satan's plan forcing me to do what's right. Rather I fought with my brother Jesus as the leader representing my Father's plan of happiness and my freedom to follow if I so chose.
The last few weeks I have also had the privilege of watching the season 5 theatrical release of "The Chosen." I cried when watching the people on the screen waving their palms shouting, crying, "Hosanna, Blessed is the King of Israel that cometh in the name of the Lord." I would like to think that I could have joined in. I would like to have cried out loud.
At least that's the reason why I went to our ward's celebratory walk to celebrate Palm Sunday. I didn't show up prepared with something to wave but I was happy to join the procession while singing hymns through the neighborhood. I cried while feeling the spirit of those great words about the Savior. I walked beside a friend as she strolled her adult son who has suffered from serious physical and mental disabilities throughout his life. I've seen her take him walks through the years and have always been so inspired by her loving care as she tends to his severe needs. But today I was inspired by him.
Near the end of our procession, my friend asked me to take the stroller because her son wanted to walk the rest of the way. I followed behind them while witnessing as she steadied her son as he took confident yet clumsy steps. I cried again. What bravery! What determination! He was fighting his body and manifesting his will. Through his actions, I know he too believes in the great healer, Jesus Christ. One day he too will be raised up and walk perfectly. I will be able to understand him when he talks. He will be whole. He was a great example of faith in Jesus Christ and his trust in his glorious promises. It also provided a powerful reminder of my own halting, clumsy steps on this planet as I try to follow the Savior.
One day we too will be raised up. No more sickness. No more aging. No more pain. No more death. Resurrected! So I will raise my voice. I will stand firm and fight, manifesting my will and desire to join the masses of all creation crying out, "Hosanna! Blessed Be the Name of the Most High God!"
