This morning I was thinking about standing with Freddie. After contracting polio in California, Freddie couldn't stand, being confined to her bed the majority of her life. Freddie moved with her husband into this area from San Diego to be close to her son in residential treatment at Provo Canyon School. Freddie joined the church back in California, graduated with her Master's Degree at Stanford, had a successful career as a speech pathologist, married a man she loved, adopted a child, organized civic events and shared her testimony of Jesus Christ. I was called as her visiting teacher during the last 4 or so months of her life and tagged along with my stellar partner, one of the women in our ward who had been coming to her house for once a week during the last 8 years. After her husband's passing, her neighbors rallied around Freddie enabling her to stay in her home as per her request.
It was important for Freddie to live as independent as possible though she was utterly dependent on others. During these years she served as compassionate service leader in the ward-the one in charge, encouraging others to make their specific needs known, depend on each other, and reach out to serve with LOVE. She was busy, productive, positive and happy-even though she couldn't get out of bed. Her attitude in dealing with adversity could be emulated as she reminded everyone that they too had infirmities requiring attention -hers were just more visible. Her very presence in the neighborhood became of symbol of need, of service, of faith, endurance, of Christlike love. She was our celebrity, our Yoda, the one that was "always there" with her open door, ready and willing to receive a visit and share wisdom. Where was she going to go anyway? But she did finally go and now she is free to stand on her own two legs.
As a woman known for taking charge of every detail of her care, using her God given agency to control everything she could do instead of what she couldn't, Freddie planned out the specifics for her funeral. It fell to me the honor of giving the opening prayer for her funeral, not because I had a special relationship with her or was important in any way; I barely did anything for her and hardly knew her. During our brief time together, I had the privilege of pouring my heart out to her while relating personal troubles, introducing my sons as they sang with their guitars and listened to her life story, and scouring Provo for sugarless popsicles. That's about it. Nevertheless, I stood at the post as one of her visiting teachers. The title "Visiting Teacher" constituted a special relationship of utmost importance to Freddie and she wanted to remind us how important this Visiting Teaching relationship should be for us as well.
Each funeral musical number was also planned by Freddie. I loved hearing the bagpipes play through the parking lot letting me know the funeral was about to begin. I was especially moved when she requested for all the sisters in the congregation to stand and sing together, "As Sisters in Zion." Though we were separated and sprinkled throughout the congregation, yet we were bound together. It was at this moment I felt like I was standing with Freddie, testifying of the importance of standing together as women, as "sisters in Zion" to relieve burdens, build faith in God and strengthen families. It was yet another symbol of all the Relief Society ladies throughout the years teaching me how to serve-how to love. I was overcome and could only look down at the hymnbook and mouth the words as tears streamed down my face and I was filled with a warm, powerful, loving spirit of the Lord.
I rushed from the funeral to a wedding and then to Cedar City to assist my uncle whose wife had just had one of her legs amputated due to her diabetic condition. Her other leg was black from gangrene and may be amputated as well. She continued to exert effort-she used the strength that remained to sit up, to lift her spoon to her mouth, to transfer her weight to the side of her bed. I was privileged to witness my aunt's first attempts with assistance to stand on her remaining leg. Bearing weight...that's what standing really is.
While attending Relief Society in my uncle's ward, I learned more details about the song "As Sisters in Zion" and added 2 more sisters I am privileged to stand with. Janice Kapp Perry, wrote the music along with scores of other primary songs that have touched my heart through the years and built my testimony of the restored gospel. I had a brief stint in her ward and received a meaningful compliment from her regarding a song I wrote using the words of the Relief Society Proclamation. At this time, I also attended a powerful musical fireside where she led us in singing some of my most favorite primary songs. Once again, I stood with the great ones, had tears running down my cheeks and was filled with the spirit.
The words for the song were written by pioneer Emily Hill written during their trek as she and her sister assisted a struggling widow with 5 small children cross the plains. I'm inspired by this woman referring to her experiences with the Martin-Willie handcart company as "child's play" compared with the pain she later felt after being deserted and disgraced by her 1st husband and trying to survive and care for her family's essentials of life. Continuing to have setbacks and struggles, she and her 2nd husband still remained steadfast and full of faith. When referring to her desire for her children to develop that same faith she wrote,"I fervently hope that each and all of them may seek and obtain for themselves a knowledge of the truth (called Mormonism), for I know it can make them wise unto salvation, and may they be willing if needs be tot endure reproach and privation for principle's sake. I doubt not that all my troubles have been for my good, and today I am more than thankful for my standng in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."
She was thankful for her standing. She stood faithful and true. I am grateful to stand. I am so privileged to stand with these courageous women. They offer encouragement to me to help me stand up even when I can't use my legs. They assist me in standing upright so I can bear the weight. Though separated by time and space-as sisters we really do stand together. Though at times we may be bedridden, our faith in Jesus Christ helps us to hear the Healer's voice beckoning us to "Rise up and stand forth."
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