Serious Sunbathing

 This morning I was thinking about my relationship with light and consequences from exposure.  I'm sporting a brand new Frankenstein scar on my increasingly deformed forearm as a result of a recent surgery to remove squamous cell skin cancer.  It's the price I pay and most likely will continue to pay from all my So. Cal beach days and my continued love of sunshine.  

As the doctor was stitching me up, he also noted my unusually thin skin for someone my age and urged caution. This thin skin also increases my sensitivity with near constant itching due to dermatitis and eczema.  Happy Birthday month to me! "One year closer to the grave" as my family lovingly sings each year during our birthday gatherings.  Traditional belief suggest that once plunged into the darkness, souls are encouraged to "go to the light!"   

Going to the light, or seeking after light is good practice for the living as well.  While trying to pick a show last night, I considered watching Batman but had heard  it was "too dark" so I opted for a one of my favorite genre's- death and destruction movies.  The title, "How it Ends" caught my eye.  Big mistake.  STUPID choice.  I'm renaming it, "Boring Road Trip of F-words."  I fast forwarded though it to see images of death and destruction with no satisfaction.  But more than being disappointed with the movie, I was more disappointed with myself.  Was I really "going to the light" or am I on a stupid attention road trip of the profane. (worldly, secular, irreverent etc.)

There are so many voices vying for my attention at any given moment.   Content may contain spiritual cancer causing agents with absolutely no regard for my welfare.  They (whoever "they" are) just want me to watch their stuff- they don't care if I waste my time.  Who would think exposure to some darkness can cause cancer or at the very least destroy brain cells through vapid dialog?  But rest assured, every thing I pay attention to makes it's mark-at least in my memory.  Like skin cells remembering my good times at the beach, my brain stores the info somewhere.  Eventually with persistent exposure , I'll need to medicate it, radiate it or cut it out-unless I want to gradually die to all things spiritual. 

I let the doctor cut and take the larger chunk out of my arm since apparently some people die with this type of squamous cancer.  I don't really believe it.  It seems pretty harmless to me.  I guess I sometimes approach the whole exposure to media darkness with the same nonchalant attitude.  It will be fine.  Slap some VidAngel filters on it.  Whatever it takes for a moment of escapism-for a ride in someone else's reality.  

I'm not on a stupid road trip.  Rather, I'm on a trip to the sun.  Imagine that!   Since I'm going to have some ridiculous scar from the latest procedure, I might as well use it as my new personal tattoo.  My Sally/Jack Skeleton mark can stand as a visual to remind me to bathe in a different kind of sunlight or even moonlight.  Picture the last scene of Jack and Sally coming together in the bright moonlight.  I can "go to the light" even if I'm not dead.  I can soak it in and do some serious sunbathing.