Last weekend my mother was having difficulties with her vision and went to the hospital. She learned she had a "mini" stroke with some clots, A-fib heart irregularities, and some type of aneurism. The neurologist considering everything that was going on in her body, said to her, "You are one lucky woman! My mom felt like the he didn't really sympathize with her vision complaints compared to what losses she could have been experiencing. Yet for my mom, working vision is crucial to her daily schedule. She loves to read, watch TV, browse Facebook posts and drive herself places-all requiring a certain degree of visual acuity.
Generally speaking, my mom has been pretty healthy over the last 85 years. She has experienced some issues requiring medical attention including surgeries, brief hospitalization, chronic conditions requiring ongoing medication, but on the whole, she has been high functioning across most domains. I know she will not live forever, but I'm always hopeful she will be like her aunties that lived into their late 90's. I know aging is a series of managing losses. It's not pretty whether we're watching love ones age or going through the process ourselves.
When I got the call that my mother was in the hospital, I couldn't help but wonder if she would be okay. Or is this when she dies? What abilities might she lose? What will she be able to do? What will her quality of life be like for the next 10 years? Will she have 10 more years? Questions like these not only go through my mind, but they most assuredly go through my mom's mind as well.
Why else would she comment to the nurses something like, "It's alright if I die because I have 3 children with active temple recommends." She answered questions to curious nurses who asked what a "temple" and "recommend were. She invited them to be in her hospital room when she received a priesthood blessing from her son. She wanted them to see. She has made a covenant to be a witness of Jesus Christ at all times and in all places. She wanted to share her faith, that truly, "Everything will be okay."
When talking with her over the phone, she shared the above experience and casually mentioned that she called her team-primary teacher to let her know that she would not be there that Sunday for the lesson for the children. She's that dutiful. She's that committed.
As our phone conversation continued, I thought about my mom's faithfulness and testimony of the Savior and made a connection to my recent studies from the week's "Come Follow Me" lesson. I thought of Job's faithfulness through all his adversity and his testimony that "I know my Redeemer liveth." I was overwrought with emotion and could not speak. I wanted to but was physically choked up. I had to say what I was thinking and feeling to my mother in the hospital. Finally I sputtered and sobbed the words out, telling her how very grateful I am to have her life long example of faith in Jesus Christ. Not only through words, not only through church service, but also through her daily choices in everyday living-the good, the bad, and everything in between-my mom believes in Jesus Christ and wants to follow him. This I know.
Though I was emotional, it was a sweet spiritual experience that helped me feel the spirit and reinforce my fasting that day in her behalf. Oh how I love my mom. Oh how I appreciate her example of faith. And with this faith, I too can move forward into this new stage of life and our mother-daughter relationship.
She is back from the hospital now recovering and doing her best to do what she can to access her daily routine. She has a lists of appointments as well as new medications. She will make necessary adjustments. Life will continue to change. She will not be able to come to Utah to visit rather it is my turn to come to California more often. It will be different for sure, but taking a page from my mother's playbook, "It will be okay."
No comments:
Post a Comment