Deficient/I Need You!

This morning I was thinking of being deficient and needing Jesus.  This thought was front and center last night while serving patrons with obvious physical deficiencies in the temple.  Many times truths are brought into eternal focus through my blurry, tear filled eyes. 

One young patron was in a wheelchair while the temple workers rotated around her to administer the temple initiatory ordinances.  The other was older with obvious signs of aging, scarce hair, mottled, wrinkled skin.  From my viewpoint, she didn't really make a great deal of effort concealing these deficiencies.  It is what it is. 

 I could deeply relate to both deficient patrons and their desire to come to Jesus to be clean, be whole, to be enough.  Actually, to be exceedingly more than enough by Him, through Him, while seeking a blessing at His hands. I have the great privilege of having authority to be Jesus's hands while administering ordinances in the temple.  I do not take this lightly.

A couple of months ago I remember being embarrassed as I placed my wrinkled, thinned skinned, age spotted, unkempt hands next to my same aged temple coordinator's beautiful, smooth, perfectly manicured hands.  It was pretty easy to feel deficient.  I don't exactly know why my hands haven't withstood the test of time, but they sure are a physical symbol of "working my fingers to the bone".  I guess I can take pride in that. 

Yet pride is the "original sin." Satan stated, "I haven't done anything wrong". There is nothing wrong with me.  But Satan was quick to point out the deficiencies of others-"Look, You're naked! Use fig leaves to cover your nakedness- Quick- Hide!" 

I know I'm intent on hiding my sins, covering them up, trying to fix things on my own, or just plain denying that problems exist.  I'm not deficient at all.  Or at least I want to appear that way for a second.  Hey I wear makeup!  I certainly don't like when someone points out my problems or deficiencies.  "Feedback" they call it.  Who likes that?  I'd much rather stay in a cozy non-judgmental place or "net positive" place of "I am enough."  Period.  Hey, I'm "employee of the year!".  I don't need to change anything, right?  Wrong. 

Humans are enough! We don't have any problems right?  There is no lack, no deficiency with anyone or anything.  Just do your best! Do whatever you feel is right.  There is no wrong or right. Stop being judgmental!  Only love yourself completely. Just try to be a decent human being. You don't need Jesus to love one another.  You don't need Jesus to be a good person.  You don't need Jesus or any of his Father's commandments or ordinances.  And you especially don't need His church or his authorized messengers, prophets or apostles, pointing out your problems or telling you to repent.  You don't need anything or anyone. Embrace your self-sufficiency!

Instead, I choose to embrace my deficiency!  Yes, I am NOT enough BUT with him, I AM.  Oh, how I need Jesus!  I will gladly join with all those sinners who come to his holy house to seek forgiveness.  From the Holy One, who stands ready to receive me, with his own "holy" hands.  Perhaps, in part, the Lord kept the holes in his hands, wrists, and side to remind me that I am deficient so I need Him.  Embrace that!