I Want to Go HOME!

This morning I was thinking how children feel as they spend Christmas away from their families.  This was brought into sharp focus as I tried to spread Christmas cheer by taking a load of students to see some Christmas lights this month.  I thought they would enjoy a dazzling display of synchronized lights & music but one little girl burst into tears, triggered by a family memory, and had a melt down as she cried, "I want to go home!  I want to be with my family!" I mean who wouldn't? Who wants to be in a treatment center at Christmas? Our population is becoming more acute and as such, the majority of the children will not be home for Christmas.  In some cases our students are really orphans that no one wants-adoptions gone bad-wards of the state-bounced and thrown out of foster homes, families that don't want them back because they're afraid for their own safety, parents without parental rights, parents in prison, parents dead from drug overdose etc. etc. It's no wonder that those who feel no one cares about them often have sociopathic tendencies.  Their clinical histories break my heart.  Being separated from loved ones-or not even having loved ones in the first place, is ultimate pain, especially at Christmas time.

I feel my childrens' pain from being separated from their father during the last 7 years. Big events trigger them-like Christmas, other family holidays, or important events like graduation, reunions, funerals, marriages-events where families should be together. Someday when my children get married, I would LOVE for all of my family to be surrounding the altar of the temple to witness the sealing.  However, it is even more important to have Father in Heaven witness his children entering into temple covenants, including eternal marriage. This is the crowning ordinance made possible through the atonement of Jesus Christ.  God understands that separation from loved ones=PAIN.  Whether that separation comes because of our own choices, like the unsafe behavior of my students such as assault, sexual perpetration, running away, self-harm/suicidal gestures, or behavior of others that lands them in prison.  Here at the Mowen household- we know separation-and it's no fun, however, it is also  teaching us, up close and personal, about SEPARATION vs. Being TOGETHER FOREVER.

Heavenly Father also does not want me to be separated from him-how he wants me to WANT HIM to be present.  I'm sure this separation hurts Him way more than it does me just because he actually remembers our previous relationship. Whereas, I have a veil of forgetfulness so I do not remember how close I was to him-what our family relationship was like when I lived with Him before I came to earth. This veil of forgetfulness not only helps me act in faith, but it also protects me from the PAIN of separation I would surely feel if I could only remember Father-and Mother for that matter.  I'm like an orphan, but I don't even know it.  If I had a magic wand full of forgetful pixie dust, I still couldn't sprinkle it on those sweet children from work even though I'm sure it would help ease their pain of separation at Christmas. Instead, I distract them with FUN.  It helps-kind of.  But from day one-we are planning discharge and reunification with family.  That's what it's all about-being with family-enjoying each others' presence-that IS Christmas morning.