This Morning I was thinking....

My knee went out yesterday.  I'm still sick with a cold.  My dryer went out.  These three things are actually related.  All have to do with stress overloading.  Stress is a good thing- without it we would never grow- we have to have it for strength training physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.  But when do I know when too much is too much?  Take for instance my dryer.  My daughter, the one who tried to dry her sheets, swears I never told her that you have to do a stress test on it to see how much weight it can handle.  You put a couple things in, close the dryer door and turn it on for a few seconds, then check the load.  If it looks like it never spun around, then you have to remove a couple of items and try again.  Rinse and Repeat.  It's a hassle, but it has kept my used dryer running for the last 9 months. Oh well.  Lesson learned...too late.

Whenever I get sick I try to pinpoint the moment when I over stressed my body.  What did I do different to tip the scales?  It's usually a mixture of several things to make the perfect internal storm.  At that point, it only takes one last straw to set things in motion.  Last week, I think my last straw was trying to organize the trailer in the back of the grocery store.  It wasn't that the project was too hard, though I was a little overwhelmed at the magnitude of the task.  It was more about the weather.  It was dark and cold at 5:30 in the morning.  Not really too cold, but my poor circulation hands were freezing.  I just ignored them and kept working.  When I got to my recreatioon therapy job later that morning I noted how my hands still hadn't thawed out and it took another hour for the normal color to return.  I got sick the next morning. My body just couldn't take the exposure to what it perceived as cold.  I guess there is some truth to a mother's warning to wear a coat so you "won't catch cold."  I caught one alright and my vitamin C still isn't doing the trick.

Finally, my good old knees, it's the same story.  How did I over stress them?  I don't recall any specific injury.  Maybe I have bursitis?  I remember the original injury that seemed to damage my patella.  It was traumatic, and ironically had something to do with a heavy emotional load (impending divorce) and moving heavy loads (boxes).  But that aside, my knee usually goes out when I'm under emotional as well as physical stress.  I think my trigger point yesterday was climbing up steep hills while wearing a pair of my student's flip flops.  Earlier in the morning I had been bending down on my knees and lifting freight boxes.  I also was emotionally stressed out because I had to leave work early to get to my RT job (which I was late in getting these kids off grounds for their hike). Once again, the conditions added up and I spent the rest of the day hobbling around like an idiot. So today, I'm still out of commission, left to think if I've actually learned anything.

 I'm always saying to the students, "You can do HARD THINGS".  I teach them of the importance of intentionally taking on stress to challenge themselves. This is the basis for self efficacy theory. But try as I might, I often overestimate my abilities.  I often bite off more than I can chew. I often try to do things myself.
I am not superwoman.  I cannot do anything or everything.  I can do nothing...by myself.  When I'm sick, hurt, or out of luck on the dryer front, I am reminded of my limitations.

It is good to rest.  It is good to think.  It is good to revisit my commitments.  It is good to seek the Lord's help in determining what I can do with this help. In the same way that I seem to be so OPEN FOR SUGGESTION and saying YES to other's requests, I need to be more open to the Lord's suggestions as he guides me in filling up my days with commitments and activities.  I want to be a YES man to someone who knows just how much I can handle.  He can show me what I need to say NO to.  What I need to cut back on.  I really can trust him.  I need to TRUST him.