This morning I was thinking about my hearing and how dull it has been of late. Recently I've had problems related to my inner ear and dizziness. On Wednesday, I reported to a co-worker that I was having some dizziness while seated at my computer. Shortly thereafter, I laid down on floor because my world was literally spinning. So much so, I proceeded to throw up in the trash can... continually. I've always been prone to motion sickness, but I could not lift my head without being affected. After being removed by wheelchair from the building, with trashcan on my lap, I laid down on the cold sidewalk waiting for transport to the doctor's office. I'm sure those around me thought I had Covid-19 due to how incapacitated I truly was. It was scary but I felt confident that is was related to my inner ear problem and not some sudden viral illness.
I was not surprised when my doctor confirmed my diagnosis, told me to clean out my ears, gave me a shot in my side for my nausea and related prescription, and advised me to reduce motion. The next day I stayed in bed all day and gradually felt better. I learned from my mother that my grandmother spent several days in the hospital for her vertigo. She was sure she had a tumor near her inner ear, but she didn't. There is a 3% chance that I might have this kind of benign tumor around my inner ear but I don't really want to spend a ton of money for a scan that will pretty much tell me the same thing my grandma was told. You have vertigo. It is a chronic condition you'll have to manage throughout the rest of your life. And so it goes.
I'm trying to be more aware of the symptoms so they don't escalate to that spinning world state I experienced in my office. I'm taking precautions by focusing on my ears since that appears to be the first symptom leading up to vertigo. "Dull hearing" is a great description of this type of hearing loss due to gross wax build up. Of course the nifty gadget I bought on Amazon this morning is supposed to take care of all that grossness and prevent hearing loss and cognitive impairment. This tool might be an important investment in sharpening my capacities to hear and think.
I know I have also been spiritually "dull of hearing" and can identify with this scripture in Matt. 13.15: "For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them."
Yep, that's me. Dull of hearing. I'm sure it didn't help my hearing or perceiving spiritual things by spending my isolation time binge watching Vidangel's rendition of "Breaking Bad." Surely I need a tool a lot more effective than the Amazon ear picker to remove some of that build up.
Fortunately for me, and for the whole world, we have such a tool...General Conference. Since hearing has been on my mind, I was especially sensitive when approaching the theme (#HearHim) of our 190th session of General Conference. I heard Him in my heart and in my mind testifying of the truth of what I heard in spoken word and song. Though my eyes are wet, they see more clearly. Though my ears are dull, I heard the message loud and clear- as President Nelson read a new proclamation to the world. It's a powerful message. It's one I know is true. My words are stupid, this blog is stupid, but this proclamation is not...It is important. It is worth reading and accepting the invitation to hear for yourself-His voice. Ask if it is true.
https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/restoration-proclamation
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