The Power to Gather-Yellow Alert Level

Utah has recently moved from orange level of precaution to yellow. This is good news for family gatherings of 50 people or less.  Yesterday I participated in a great family gathering to celebrate the 2nd birthday of my sweet grandson, Lennox.    It was celebrated with much fanfare, in typical Mexican style, complete with "Nacho Libre" themed decorations and costumes,  bounce house, pinata, and glorious food buffet.  My daughter married in to a wonderful Mexican family who throw these kinds of parties all the time for everyone. That's just what families do in that beautiful culture of gathering and celebration.  I loved the scene of the immediate family draped over each other while laying down on a picnic blanket simply enjoying each other's company as they watched the children in the bounce house.  It was a beautiful scene.  These parents have the incredible power to gather their family together.  

After the party, I went on a bike ride on the Provo River trail to Utah Lake.  Along the trail, I saw gatherings of families recreating together-fishing, biking, hiking, enjoying each other's company. I saw over the fence another family gathering of my sister in law as they picnicked in their backyard located near this same river.  All these families displayed this same power to gather their children around them.

On the other hand, glaringly absent from the picture yesterday was my adult children.  They had the same invitation to gather, but no one showed.  Each sibling had personal reasons for not attending but it was difficult to see the expression on my daughter's face for this seemingly lack of familial support. Feeling quite powerless, I forced a smile to accept what was, what is and what is not.  

Accepting What Was:  Truth is, my children know that when they were 2 years old, about the only thing their parents would have done to celebrate was give them a bunch of balloons to bat around, blow out 2 candles on their birthday donut, and maybe open a present.  That was our tradition for the wee ones.  As they became older, I tried as a mom to do everything within my power to  make them feel special on their day.  However, I told them it was their job to appreciate their life.  It was their responsibility to celebrate their time on earth, their mortal bodies, and the glorious freedom to make choices.  So, I guess all my children learned that lesson as they exercised their freedom to choose how to spend their time yesterday on a Saturday afternoon.  

Accepting What Is:  With a mandated PTO day and having worked last Sunday, today marks the end of another 4 day weekend.  I admit, though Utah went from orange to yellow levels of precaution for the virus,  I used much of my free time in self-imposed quarantine.  I preferred to be by myself, sleeping in, cleaning, watching Broadway shows, listening to "Harry Potter" books on tape, shopping bargains while wearing a mask and eating good food.  Perhaps I did this because as an "essential worker" I really haven't had to self-quarantine during the past 3 months.  It has been work as usual or should I say work in unusual circumstances. I have to be careful that "self-care" doesn't turn into justification for selfishness.  

Accepting What Is Not:  Though I appreciate the fine examples of my relatives in throwing elaborate shin digs, I'm not going to get caught up in comparing and competing for the award for "Best Family Gathering".  Though families gather for all sorts of reasons- habits, tradition, expectations, mutual interests, or sheer necessity-what gives families the great power to gather is LOVE.  

 I love my family-each member individually and collectively.  It helps when we are together because it reminds me that I am not alone. I have a support system following me wherever I go-even when facing challenges- especially when facing challenges.   I had that experience recently when being wheeled into a MRI tunnel (btw, they didn't find anything).  Though it was not a quiet time with all the loud, strange sounds of magnetic resonance imaging, it was a time to be alone...with my thoughts.

I meditated and felt I was a model patient of  staying calm and collected in this claustrophobic environment.  Then the thought came into my mind, "I love my family."  So much for staying perfectly still.   Tears ran down my cheeks and I had difficulty retaining my composure.  How I love my family!  Even in this isolated environment, they were with me!  More specifically, is was the feelings I had in my heart for each member of my family that produced such an overwhelming sensation.  At the same time of being draped in surgical coverings, I was symbolically draped in the collective weight of love for my beautiful family. What a privilege to LOVE.  It is the greatest privilege in my life.  It gathers them to me no matter where they are.   A most miraculous power of gathering.