Resiliency theory fascinates me. How can two people experience the same set of stressful situations and one person is destroyed and miserable, while the other keeps moving forward-even with a little bounce in their step-thus the "Tigger"reference. It's like nothing can hurt them because they are protected with an invisible rubbery substance allowing them to bounce instead of crack and break when dropped. I don't get it. But I want to. I want to be the Tigger and model it for others.
I have unofficially adopted "Tigger" as my RT mascot. From the start of my practice as a Recreational Therapist, I purposely set out to build resiliency in myself and others. Researchers have identified several factors, but I narrowed it down to three for practical purposes. I can't do everything for everyone, but maybe I can do something. These three factors also address three deficits common to many traumatized individuals; these include difficulties with Attention, Affect, and Attachment. I suppose most stressed out people are members of this AAA club. I know I am.
To help me and my students remember these three resiliency factors, I use the acronym PCS since I figure they will always remember where they went to school. This also has reference to the idea of "People Calming Stress vs. People Causing Stress". We do a ton of the latter in our attempts to reach out and help. If all behavior is stress related, according to the Bryan Post Stress Model, shouldn't we be expert at knowing how to calm the stress? Getting back to the PCS and the resiliency factors, the P = Positive Focus. The C= Challenge Self, and the S-Social Connection. These are not only great goals, but serve as coping skills to calm stress.
Positive Focus address the attention deficit. The power to divert attention and energy to the positive is incredibly powerful. I remember spending $300 to support Gordon Bruin's work treating pornography addiction that mentions the principle of purposely paying attention or mindfulness practice. Since pornography lures attention and hooks people in, I find it has compelling application for other type of thoughts that lure us, or thought nets (internet) we get hung up in. His Inner Gold treatment manual was full of great ideas but the one graphic I still remember is of a crowded room of people with a person in red screaming for attention, "Pay Attention to Me!" My thoughts are like that. My feelings are like that. Other people's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are like that as well. Every intrusion-the millions of would be emergencies are like that. Everything demands my attention-right now! If I spent all day putting out fires or responding to every screaming memmie, I will never go anywhere or get anything done. I have to purposely ignore some distractions. Others I can respond to, especially if prompted to do so. Regardless, mine is the power to choose. Armed with this power, how can I not bounce.
Challenging self is all about managing stress addressing difficulties with affect regulation. I have to take some on so I won't be bored to tears but I can't overload and overwhelm myself with challenges either. A "Can do" attitude is great, but if I put too many demands across my back, it's going to break and I won't be going anywhere. I have to have just the right amount necessary for growth and development. There are numerous studies on the value of self-efficacy. Most experiential tasks foster this sense of mastery. It's why groups are organize around a task, a goal, or challenge and the behavior approach and response is documented. We can believe in our ability to succeed in specific tasks and circumstance. "I can do hard things" is the mantra. Better yet, I can do hard things with help. It's amazing what we can accomplish together.
This leads to social connection addressing the attachment issue. Most talk therapy involves talking to someone-engaging with another human being. Sure we can talk to ourselves, but to have a relationship and share thoughts, attitudes, feelings, and behaviors makes a difference in how we move through the universe. Perhaps it is the most important protective factor in building resilience. How we need each other to calm our stress! Relationship is key. Sometimes the most helpful knowledge we gain from treatment is knowing someone cares about us, wants us to succeed, believes in us, understands us, and thinks we are wonderful. Relationships cause stress and are sometimes the source of trauma, but they are also the remedy. Oh how we need to know how to build relationships to calm the stress...World peace...right? That's the goal. What a bouncy blue marble planet we would live on. We'd be the Tigger Planet.
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Saturday, November 18, 2017
35 Bottles: Strength To Tackle Weakness
i consider myself a mental health professional, though definitively not as skilled as my PhD brother or a masters degree clinician. Yet, I have been exposed to some great stuff- knowledge that if applied, could do us good-even help everyone feel better. When preparing to accept my first job as a rec therapist, I spent time reading research articles regarding therapeutic interventions . I was drawn to strength based approaches. Instead of focusing on what's wrong with a person, I found it helpful to consider what they had going for them already; what are they pretty good at? what do they like about themselves and others; what can they do with what they already have?
I use an analogy of climbing the treatment mountain. When we start to dig up the dirt or take digs at self or others we end up making a big hole and displacing a bunch of dirt..It's hard work. It's hard to hear the dirt about ourselves; we recognize our deficits, what's wrong with us, and the things we need to change. All these problems represent our current needs. In traditional treatment this is our chief complaint. Treatment will be useless unless it addresses accurate diagnosis. But what about the big hole or the displaced dirt from our digging? With time this dirt is packed down and forms mountain of sorts...a mountain we will need to climb.We will need strength and put forth a great deal of effort to climb this mountain of our own making. Why not use every possible resource we have to accomplish the task-use strength to tackle weakness!
My family has many strengths; all of our bodies are pretty healthy- we can see, hear, talk and walk. I think we have a high level of intelligence. sure we do stupid things, but I think we are all pretty awake and aware. We also have a high degree of social and emotional intelligence. We not only know how to communicate but we know how to make and keep friends. We know how to reach out and care about the people around us. As a family we love and care about each individual family member. We know how to forgive and make repairs when we offend each other. There is an unconditionality about our interactions; no matter what happens to us or whatever mistakes we have made... it will be okay... we are still a family with a desire to be a close and connected. Perhaps the biggest strength of all for any of us, is the ability to keep trying-keep moving forward-and being open and willing to try a new approach to the challenges we face.
With these strengths at or disposal. surely we can climb the mountain. Let's go!
I use an analogy of climbing the treatment mountain. When we start to dig up the dirt or take digs at self or others we end up making a big hole and displacing a bunch of dirt..It's hard work. It's hard to hear the dirt about ourselves; we recognize our deficits, what's wrong with us, and the things we need to change. All these problems represent our current needs. In traditional treatment this is our chief complaint. Treatment will be useless unless it addresses accurate diagnosis. But what about the big hole or the displaced dirt from our digging? With time this dirt is packed down and forms mountain of sorts...a mountain we will need to climb.We will need strength and put forth a great deal of effort to climb this mountain of our own making. Why not use every possible resource we have to accomplish the task-use strength to tackle weakness!
My family has many strengths; all of our bodies are pretty healthy- we can see, hear, talk and walk. I think we have a high level of intelligence. sure we do stupid things, but I think we are all pretty awake and aware. We also have a high degree of social and emotional intelligence. We not only know how to communicate but we know how to make and keep friends. We know how to reach out and care about the people around us. As a family we love and care about each individual family member. We know how to forgive and make repairs when we offend each other. There is an unconditionality about our interactions; no matter what happens to us or whatever mistakes we have made... it will be okay... we are still a family with a desire to be a close and connected. Perhaps the biggest strength of all for any of us, is the ability to keep trying-keep moving forward-and being open and willing to try a new approach to the challenges we face.
With these strengths at or disposal. surely we can climb the mountain. Let's go!
Saturday, November 4, 2017
38 Bottles: Better Decisions
I'm sure there are all sorts of outcomes for "family therapy" and what people expect to get out of their sessions. Yet I can't help thinking the ability to make better decisions should be on top of the list. This includes feeling better, thinking better, and ultimately behaving better. This is the essence of health right? When I'm sick or hurt, I want to feel better and ultimately improve my executive functioning.
I am fascinated with mental health. It appears to have some connection with spiritual health- at least both are not readily visible. It's hard to diagnose and treat because conditions aren't manifest in a MRI, x-ray, or in a gushing gun shot wound. Some clinicians use FMRI's and other analytic tools, but it's still fuzzy science. The whole field is wrought with ambiguity. It's confusing and contradictory. But I suppose physical health is as well. Nevertheless, we try to figure things out. What makes us tick? What causes us to act or be acted upon? What knowledge will really make a difference in our life?
And so as I navigate through different concepts in mental health that may be useful for my family, I believe it helps to have a foundation-or a safe harbor to return to when venturing out into the ocean. It's too easy to get lost in the wild sea of ideas.
All through my children's lives, we gathered each night for "Scripture Time." In many cases, it was a joke- the rug we sat on often became a stage for family antics; but we still tried to read from the pages of the scriptures to build faith in Jesus Christ. My children sometimes expressed irritation as I would relate almost anything we did or learned about during the day to the gospel of Jesus Christ. How I wish I could gather my adult sons and daughters around me and have family scripture time each night. I know it would still help us. I try to encourage daily private study of the scriptures, but I feel like they don't think it helps them. They sometimes even think it not only doesn't help them but makes them feel bad -commands end up feeling like criticism and harsh judgment about various imperfections.
Jeffrey Holland's latest conference talk addresses this issue. Here are some excerpts;
Our only hope for true perfection is in receiving it as a gift from heaven—we can’t “earn” it. Thus, the grace of Christ offers us not only salvation from sorrow and sin and death but also salvation from our own persistent self-criticism...
My brothers and sisters, except for Jesus, there have been no flawless performances on this earthly journey we are pursuing, so while in mortality let’s strive for steady improvement without obsessing over what behavioral scientists call “toxic perfectionism.”...
Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for our future, or the possibility of godliness. If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete—which is the New Testament meaning of perfection.14
I testify that scriptures help more than they hurt. They can help me and my family. Though my suggestion may be dismissed as the silly rantings of a religious fanatic, I believe if we want our family to heal and improve daily functioning,scripture time should be considered as one of our "therapy assignments." We can't gather around the rug and watch the family circus of personalities, but we can do something to incorporate scripture time, especially, The Book of Mormon, into our daily routine. President Nelson stated:
My dear brothers and sisters, I promise that as you prayerfully study the Book of Mormon every day, you will make better decisions—every day. I promise that as you ponder what you study, the windows of heaven will open, and you will receive answers to your own questions and direction for your own life. I promise that as you daily immerse yourself in the Book of Mormon, you can be immunized against the evils of the day, even the gripping plague of pornography and other mind-numbing addictions.
That's not just a statement, it's a promise! From a prophet, seer, and revelator no less. Wow. A promise that we can make better decisions by doing one simple thing...a spiritual remedy. That surely is a intervention worth trying!
I am fascinated with mental health. It appears to have some connection with spiritual health- at least both are not readily visible. It's hard to diagnose and treat because conditions aren't manifest in a MRI, x-ray, or in a gushing gun shot wound. Some clinicians use FMRI's and other analytic tools, but it's still fuzzy science. The whole field is wrought with ambiguity. It's confusing and contradictory. But I suppose physical health is as well. Nevertheless, we try to figure things out. What makes us tick? What causes us to act or be acted upon? What knowledge will really make a difference in our life?
And so as I navigate through different concepts in mental health that may be useful for my family, I believe it helps to have a foundation-or a safe harbor to return to when venturing out into the ocean. It's too easy to get lost in the wild sea of ideas.
All through my children's lives, we gathered each night for "Scripture Time." In many cases, it was a joke- the rug we sat on often became a stage for family antics; but we still tried to read from the pages of the scriptures to build faith in Jesus Christ. My children sometimes expressed irritation as I would relate almost anything we did or learned about during the day to the gospel of Jesus Christ. How I wish I could gather my adult sons and daughters around me and have family scripture time each night. I know it would still help us. I try to encourage daily private study of the scriptures, but I feel like they don't think it helps them. They sometimes even think it not only doesn't help them but makes them feel bad -commands end up feeling like criticism and harsh judgment about various imperfections.
Jeffrey Holland's latest conference talk addresses this issue. Here are some excerpts;
Our only hope for true perfection is in receiving it as a gift from heaven—we can’t “earn” it. Thus, the grace of Christ offers us not only salvation from sorrow and sin and death but also salvation from our own persistent self-criticism...
My brothers and sisters, except for Jesus, there have been no flawless performances on this earthly journey we are pursuing, so while in mortality let’s strive for steady improvement without obsessing over what behavioral scientists call “toxic perfectionism.”...
Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for our future, or the possibility of godliness. If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete—which is the New Testament meaning of perfection.14
I testify that scriptures help more than they hurt. They can help me and my family. Though my suggestion may be dismissed as the silly rantings of a religious fanatic, I believe if we want our family to heal and improve daily functioning,scripture time should be considered as one of our "therapy assignments." We can't gather around the rug and watch the family circus of personalities, but we can do something to incorporate scripture time, especially, The Book of Mormon, into our daily routine. President Nelson stated:
My dear brothers and sisters, I promise that as you prayerfully study the Book of Mormon every day, you will make better decisions—every day. I promise that as you ponder what you study, the windows of heaven will open, and you will receive answers to your own questions and direction for your own life. I promise that as you daily immerse yourself in the Book of Mormon, you can be immunized against the evils of the day, even the gripping plague of pornography and other mind-numbing addictions.
That's not just a statement, it's a promise! From a prophet, seer, and revelator no less. Wow. A promise that we can make better decisions by doing one simple thing...a spiritual remedy. That surely is a intervention worth trying!
Thursday, November 2, 2017
39 Bottles of Beer
It's been a couple of months since I last wrote an entry in my "99 bottles of beer" blog I got to bottle number 40 and then Jeff was released from prison. Ready or not, I had to face him...and I did. The surprising part about the whole ordeal, was that it was not an ordeal at all. It was normal. It was fine. It was almost like a non-event. Much like the soda pop that lost its' fizz because someone didn't screw the lid on tight enough, our initial meeting didn't have any volcanic overflow, explosions, mess, or fireworks. It was flat-barely registered on a emotional Richter scale-if there was such a thing.
Since Jeff returned to Utah, we've had about 3 or 4 family dinners, and about 4 one on one exchanges such as walks, car rides, errands, etc. We had a discussion about boundaries and so far, they have been respected. My son asked if I was attracted to him, and I honestly said I wasn't. There is familiarity for sure, but I feel like my eyes are wide open. I see him, or at least I think I'm seeing him with new eyes and awareness.
When his release date finally arrived I didn't have a bunch of pent up feelings and thoughts waiting to explode. They came out gradually through the process of writing 60 journal entries; writing my 99 bottles of beer blog helped me explore issues regarding my relationship with my x husband- past, present future.
It's been more difficult for my children since they have not processed through their issues regarding their father, their mother, their relationship, and our family dynamics past,present, and future. Some have suggested some sort of family therapy.
I'm open to that, though I don't have funds. Last week I suggested Jeff cover mental health expenses-I think that's fair. Taking a page out of the past Mowen family playbook, we usually don't go to the doctor unless we're practically dying. Instead we do the best with the resources we already have. It's our attempt to self-medicate.
And so I turn once again to beer. That's medicine right? Surely I have 40 bottles worth of mental health ideas, interventions, treatment or home grown remedies to help with our condition.
Flat can be good when it comes to shaking bottles and opening them up. But flat can also impede progress-especially as I'm writing this entry as I sit here on my para-transit bus with several customers on board waiting for help to arrive. It is my first experience with a flat tire during my early morning route, probably not the last.
Since Jeff returned to Utah, we've had about 3 or 4 family dinners, and about 4 one on one exchanges such as walks, car rides, errands, etc. We had a discussion about boundaries and so far, they have been respected. My son asked if I was attracted to him, and I honestly said I wasn't. There is familiarity for sure, but I feel like my eyes are wide open. I see him, or at least I think I'm seeing him with new eyes and awareness.
When his release date finally arrived I didn't have a bunch of pent up feelings and thoughts waiting to explode. They came out gradually through the process of writing 60 journal entries; writing my 99 bottles of beer blog helped me explore issues regarding my relationship with my x husband- past, present future.
It's been more difficult for my children since they have not processed through their issues regarding their father, their mother, their relationship, and our family dynamics past,present, and future. Some have suggested some sort of family therapy.
I'm open to that, though I don't have funds. Last week I suggested Jeff cover mental health expenses-I think that's fair. Taking a page out of the past Mowen family playbook, we usually don't go to the doctor unless we're practically dying. Instead we do the best with the resources we already have. It's our attempt to self-medicate.
And so I turn once again to beer. That's medicine right? Surely I have 40 bottles worth of mental health ideas, interventions, treatment or home grown remedies to help with our condition.
Flat can be good when it comes to shaking bottles and opening them up. But flat can also impede progress-especially as I'm writing this entry as I sit here on my para-transit bus with several customers on board waiting for help to arrive. It is my first experience with a flat tire during my early morning route, probably not the last.
The big boss came, we transferred the customers to a different van and we were on our way. Perhaps these last 40 bottles can help the people in my family board a different bus and get back on track. We can make forward progress and eventually fix that flat tire or replace it with a new one.
Sunday, August 20, 2017
99 Bottles of Beer and Peace
When I found out that Jeff would shortly be released from prison, I started a private blog entitled, "99 Bottles of Beer." I invited some close family, friends, and therapists to read it to help me process through some issues. I didn't quite make it down to bottle #1, but I have 60 entries that helped me express bottled up thoughts and feelings. It was important for me to get them out. I share my last entry with my facebook friends:
Just how many bottles do I have left in me? Do I have 40 more issues to discuss? Or am I like the soda pop that has gone flat after sitting out too long? I'm feeling pretty calm. Is that me feeling dead inside or am I at peace? I'm sure I could rehash some thoughts and feelings of profound failure in my life, feelings of loss and grief, constant change and emotional upheaval, and uncertainties in the future-but my time is up.
A couple of weeks ago when retiring for bed, I started thinking about Jeff's imminent release-I had a wave of anxiety as a parade of thoughts and feelings marched through my mind. I needed to sleep. I had to get up in a couple of hours for work. I needed help to get my needed rest. At that moment, the words to a familiar hymn went through my mind, "Where Can I Turn for Peace?" I tried to remember each verse and rehearse them in my mind:
"Where Can I Turn for Peace? Where is my solace? When other sources cease to make me whole. When with a wounded heart, anger or malice. I draw myself apart, searching my soul.
Where when my aching grows, where when I languish. Where in my need to know. Where can I run? Where is the quiet hand-to calm my anguish. Who who can understand-He only one!
He answers privately. Reaches my reaching. In my Gethsemane, Savior and friend. Gentle the peace he finds, for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind, love without end!"
As I did so, a wave of stillness enveloped me. It felt like my body was wrapped up in something soft and comforting. It was something quite tangible. Not only did it calm my mind and heart, but my body felt calm as well as it started to drift into sleep.
The next morning I knew that hymn should be our monthly choir number. This song needed to be my focus. I encouraged our choir members to memorize the words so they too could call upon them in their hours of need. I found one of my early arrangements of this hymn that I had performed with my brother.
The pages of my composition were torn, tattered, faded, and extremely hard to read. It was so confusing for our choir; we compared it to interpreting an ancient manuscript with a Urim and Thumim. They were appreciative when I transcribed it into a new music notation software program I found online. It surely communicated my musical ideas in a clearer fashion.
Yet I like my confusing copy for sentimental reasons. My brother wrote the lyrics in his familiar scrawl underneath his notes he was to sing. I love my brother. I need my brother. He has been my one constant priesthood source throughout my life. If there was ever a time for a priesthood blessing-it's now, especially since Jeff gets out tomorrow.
I don't have priesthood sons to give me a blessing. I don't have a priesthood husband to give me a blessing. My home teachers moved out of the ward last week. I could ask my father in law for a blessing, but considering my recent call with him where he literally said 10 words to me, he might not be the best source to turn to. I need a blessing.
I had a thought this morning that maybe I could get set apart for my nursery call after church and slip in a request for a priesthood blessing from the bishop. The thought was confirmed as I glanced at our nursery lesson for today entitled, "Heavenly Father Blesses Me Through The Priesthood." Coincidence? No. Confirmation. Heavenly Communication. God is aware of me and my needs.
Regardless if I get a blessing today or not, regardless if I talk to my big brother Jerry today or not, Jesus answers privately, reaches my reaching. In my Gethsamane, Savior and Friend. Gentle the peace he finds, for my beseeching. Constant He is and kind, Love without End. Though it's nice to find authorized servants that represent Jesus, I need to remember who they are really representing-my big brother Jesus.
I have a testimony that Jesus is real. I want to be valiant in that testimony. I am so grateful He loves me. He not only comforts me when I can't sleep, but he brings peace as I face all sorts of challenging situations. He helps me find solutions to problems. Like the caption on lds.org media clip says today, "Whatever he saith unto you-Do it."
So where can I turn for peace on this special day? I turn to Him. I run to Him.
Just how many bottles do I have left in me? Do I have 40 more issues to discuss? Or am I like the soda pop that has gone flat after sitting out too long? I'm feeling pretty calm. Is that me feeling dead inside or am I at peace? I'm sure I could rehash some thoughts and feelings of profound failure in my life, feelings of loss and grief, constant change and emotional upheaval, and uncertainties in the future-but my time is up.
A couple of weeks ago when retiring for bed, I started thinking about Jeff's imminent release-I had a wave of anxiety as a parade of thoughts and feelings marched through my mind. I needed to sleep. I had to get up in a couple of hours for work. I needed help to get my needed rest. At that moment, the words to a familiar hymn went through my mind, "Where Can I Turn for Peace?" I tried to remember each verse and rehearse them in my mind:
"Where Can I Turn for Peace? Where is my solace? When other sources cease to make me whole. When with a wounded heart, anger or malice. I draw myself apart, searching my soul.
Where when my aching grows, where when I languish. Where in my need to know. Where can I run? Where is the quiet hand-to calm my anguish. Who who can understand-He only one!
He answers privately. Reaches my reaching. In my Gethsemane, Savior and friend. Gentle the peace he finds, for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind, love without end!"
As I did so, a wave of stillness enveloped me. It felt like my body was wrapped up in something soft and comforting. It was something quite tangible. Not only did it calm my mind and heart, but my body felt calm as well as it started to drift into sleep.
The next morning I knew that hymn should be our monthly choir number. This song needed to be my focus. I encouraged our choir members to memorize the words so they too could call upon them in their hours of need. I found one of my early arrangements of this hymn that I had performed with my brother.
The pages of my composition were torn, tattered, faded, and extremely hard to read. It was so confusing for our choir; we compared it to interpreting an ancient manuscript with a Urim and Thumim. They were appreciative when I transcribed it into a new music notation software program I found online. It surely communicated my musical ideas in a clearer fashion.
Yet I like my confusing copy for sentimental reasons. My brother wrote the lyrics in his familiar scrawl underneath his notes he was to sing. I love my brother. I need my brother. He has been my one constant priesthood source throughout my life. If there was ever a time for a priesthood blessing-it's now, especially since Jeff gets out tomorrow.
I don't have priesthood sons to give me a blessing. I don't have a priesthood husband to give me a blessing. My home teachers moved out of the ward last week. I could ask my father in law for a blessing, but considering my recent call with him where he literally said 10 words to me, he might not be the best source to turn to. I need a blessing.
I had a thought this morning that maybe I could get set apart for my nursery call after church and slip in a request for a priesthood blessing from the bishop. The thought was confirmed as I glanced at our nursery lesson for today entitled, "Heavenly Father Blesses Me Through The Priesthood." Coincidence? No. Confirmation. Heavenly Communication. God is aware of me and my needs.
Regardless if I get a blessing today or not, regardless if I talk to my big brother Jerry today or not, Jesus answers privately, reaches my reaching. In my Gethsamane, Savior and Friend. Gentle the peace he finds, for my beseeching. Constant He is and kind, Love without End. Though it's nice to find authorized servants that represent Jesus, I need to remember who they are really representing-my big brother Jesus.
I have a testimony that Jesus is real. I want to be valiant in that testimony. I am so grateful He loves me. He not only comforts me when I can't sleep, but he brings peace as I face all sorts of challenging situations. He helps me find solutions to problems. Like the caption on lds.org media clip says today, "Whatever he saith unto you-Do it."
So where can I turn for peace on this special day? I turn to Him. I run to Him.
Monday, August 7, 2017
Bella Baptism
This morning I was thinking about baptism since it was the topic of my nursery lesson yesterday. The nursery manual is so simple, yet so profound. It's chalked full of simple truths. It reminded me of the song I wrote for my sweet great niece, Bella for her own baptism last month..
Right away, the tune came to me using her name, Bella-which means beautiful. Though I knew that she would like to hear everyone singing her name, I also wanted to write a primary song everyone could relate to. We all want to be beautiful and clean. Whether we are boy or girl, young or old, we care about how things look. We not only spend time and effort to look our best, but we care about our environment-we surround ourselves with beautiful things. It reminds me of our beautiful world and our power to create. Beauty matters.
I also wanted to pay homage to my talented sister, Kathy, who for years has sewn many beautiful little girl dresses for her daughters and now her grandchildren. She also is a Disney queen. As such, I wanted the song to have references to one of her favorite characters-Cinderella. Kathy sometimes refers to herself as Cinderella, not only because she works, and works, and works, but she's also waiting for that handsome prince to sweep her off her feet and give her the care and attention she so deserves. by the way, if anyone out there has a Disney guy out there who'd like to go with my sister to walk the streets of Disneyland with her every week, please send him my way and I'll set them up.
Even though the song has references to a Disney princess, the gentleman are included in the doctrine contained therein. So I'm going to break it down-line by line and point out some ideas I was trying to illustrate through music. Lyrics are in bold.
Chorus:
"Bella Baptism for you". My darling great niece Bella. This was her special day and I wanted her to have her special song.
"Bella Baptism for me". I need the ordinance of baptism as well, especially if I want to be beautiful.
"He would do it just for you." The "He" is Jesus Christ. The great work of his atonement is personalized. Every single person will have their work done-name by name. It would be a lot easier if there was a mass baptism, but he calls us one by one. The ordinance is done one by one. And though I don't feel very important , I believe the Savior would have accomplished his Father's work, even if it was just for one person. The worth of the soul is great and each person is precious.
"To make you beautiful and clean." Though man made efforts help, when it comes down to real beauty-the only way it can be accomplished is through the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ and the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit.
"A royal invitation came, but you could not go just the same." God is THE royal king. He invites us to join him, but no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom. Though we may want to go and live with him-we can't. We all sin. We are all unclean. We can't atone for own sins.
"All dressed in rags, covered in soot, the smell of fire from head to foot." Metaphorically, we are all way worse than Cinderella has ever been depicted. We are all more like homeless people that have been living on the streets for years. We not only look bad, but we stink. No matter how hard we try, the stark reality is that our souls look worse than Dorian Gray. We are just plain ugly.
"You need to change!" If you've ever come home from a long camping trip, a good bath and changing our clothes come first. Repentance is change. We can't go on doing the same things-we have to change directions.
"The hour is nigh, be fitted for the court on high." I like the image of Cinderella trying to fit in at court. Without the right clothes, she not only wouldn't be admitted but she'd wouldn't feel comfortable. It would make others uncomfortable as well. We want to belong. We also refer to God's kingdom as a court on high.
"You cry for help beyond your own, 'cause you can't do it all alone." Cinderella couldn't do it alone, she cried and fairy godmother responded. We can't do it alone either. We all have a real fairy godmother. Someone who is truly there for us that will respond to our needs-especially the important need of being clean and beautiful.
Chorus:
2nd verse:
"The Evening and the Morning Star, The Rod of Power, His Mighty Arm" These are all scriptural references to Jesus Christ and his Royal Priesthood. He's the one. I also wanted to evoke the image of a wand with a star on top of it.
"will lay you down in waters deep, and lift you up to make you clean." The imagery of baptism is so powerful. I know it's not magic, but it sure is wonderful that faith in Jesus Christ, followed by baptism cleanses us from sin. And we continue the great image of water cleansing us as we partake of the baptism. It is not enough to have someone lay you down in water, it must be done by "His mighty arm"-someone who truly hold the Priesthood. If not, it does not have the power to cleanse. You're just playing pretend.
.
"A Mighty Change." This has reference to being born again. Truly becoming a new creature. Alma states, "a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold they were faithful until the end therefor they were saved." He asks,"Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?
"The Spirit's flame, as hands upon your head are placed." This has reference to confirmation and the gift of the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. It also alludes to the image of fire as a sanctifying, purifying element.
"And you will shine and sparkle bright as you seek truth and further light." I loved this line. When I think of Disney princesses-I can't help think of sparkles and glitter. Glitter and diamonds sparkle as they reflect light. The most sparkly and shiny thing I can think of is the image of the Father and the Son appearing to Joseph Smith "whose brightness and glory defy all description" As we seek out truth as young Joseph, we too reflect the light.
Chorus
Right away, the tune came to me using her name, Bella-which means beautiful. Though I knew that she would like to hear everyone singing her name, I also wanted to write a primary song everyone could relate to. We all want to be beautiful and clean. Whether we are boy or girl, young or old, we care about how things look. We not only spend time and effort to look our best, but we care about our environment-we surround ourselves with beautiful things. It reminds me of our beautiful world and our power to create. Beauty matters.
I also wanted to pay homage to my talented sister, Kathy, who for years has sewn many beautiful little girl dresses for her daughters and now her grandchildren. She also is a Disney queen. As such, I wanted the song to have references to one of her favorite characters-Cinderella. Kathy sometimes refers to herself as Cinderella, not only because she works, and works, and works, but she's also waiting for that handsome prince to sweep her off her feet and give her the care and attention she so deserves. by the way, if anyone out there has a Disney guy out there who'd like to go with my sister to walk the streets of Disneyland with her every week, please send him my way and I'll set them up.
Even though the song has references to a Disney princess, the gentleman are included in the doctrine contained therein. So I'm going to break it down-line by line and point out some ideas I was trying to illustrate through music. Lyrics are in bold.
Chorus:
"Bella Baptism for you". My darling great niece Bella. This was her special day and I wanted her to have her special song.
"Bella Baptism for me". I need the ordinance of baptism as well, especially if I want to be beautiful.
"He would do it just for you." The "He" is Jesus Christ. The great work of his atonement is personalized. Every single person will have their work done-name by name. It would be a lot easier if there was a mass baptism, but he calls us one by one. The ordinance is done one by one. And though I don't feel very important , I believe the Savior would have accomplished his Father's work, even if it was just for one person. The worth of the soul is great and each person is precious.
"To make you beautiful and clean." Though man made efforts help, when it comes down to real beauty-the only way it can be accomplished is through the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ and the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit.
"A royal invitation came, but you could not go just the same." God is THE royal king. He invites us to join him, but no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom. Though we may want to go and live with him-we can't. We all sin. We are all unclean. We can't atone for own sins.
"All dressed in rags, covered in soot, the smell of fire from head to foot." Metaphorically, we are all way worse than Cinderella has ever been depicted. We are all more like homeless people that have been living on the streets for years. We not only look bad, but we stink. No matter how hard we try, the stark reality is that our souls look worse than Dorian Gray. We are just plain ugly.
"You need to change!" If you've ever come home from a long camping trip, a good bath and changing our clothes come first. Repentance is change. We can't go on doing the same things-we have to change directions.
"The hour is nigh, be fitted for the court on high." I like the image of Cinderella trying to fit in at court. Without the right clothes, she not only wouldn't be admitted but she'd wouldn't feel comfortable. It would make others uncomfortable as well. We want to belong. We also refer to God's kingdom as a court on high.
"You cry for help beyond your own, 'cause you can't do it all alone." Cinderella couldn't do it alone, she cried and fairy godmother responded. We can't do it alone either. We all have a real fairy godmother. Someone who is truly there for us that will respond to our needs-especially the important need of being clean and beautiful.
Chorus:
2nd verse:
"The Evening and the Morning Star, The Rod of Power, His Mighty Arm" These are all scriptural references to Jesus Christ and his Royal Priesthood. He's the one. I also wanted to evoke the image of a wand with a star on top of it.
"will lay you down in waters deep, and lift you up to make you clean." The imagery of baptism is so powerful. I know it's not magic, but it sure is wonderful that faith in Jesus Christ, followed by baptism cleanses us from sin. And we continue the great image of water cleansing us as we partake of the baptism. It is not enough to have someone lay you down in water, it must be done by "His mighty arm"-someone who truly hold the Priesthood. If not, it does not have the power to cleanse. You're just playing pretend.
.
"A Mighty Change." This has reference to being born again. Truly becoming a new creature. Alma states, "a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold they were faithful until the end therefor they were saved." He asks,"Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?
"The Spirit's flame, as hands upon your head are placed." This has reference to confirmation and the gift of the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. It also alludes to the image of fire as a sanctifying, purifying element.
"And you will shine and sparkle bright as you seek truth and further light." I loved this line. When I think of Disney princesses-I can't help think of sparkles and glitter. Glitter and diamonds sparkle as they reflect light. The most sparkly and shiny thing I can think of is the image of the Father and the Son appearing to Joseph Smith "whose brightness and glory defy all description" As we seek out truth as young Joseph, we too reflect the light.
Chorus
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Extermination
This morning I was thinking about extermination of pests-public nuisances-whatever. We used to have this really cool BBQ pit in our stake park. It could accommodate large groups for campfire fun. It even had a couple of raised platforms for some type of performances-at least I can imagine people playing guitars, singing around the campfire, etc. Since the park is pretty much my backyard, I thought about using it in the future for some type of family gathering. Well, that's not happening.
A couple of months ago, the stake leaders decided to fill the area in with dirt because rowdy teens were using it for their drug parties or other unseemly activities. They thought the best way to drive out the nuisance was to destroy the gathering place; that will stop it, right? Or at least force them to continue their activities somewhere else where we can't see it, where they can't bother us. It made me sad. Not that I'm in to wild drug/sex parties, but it was just such a nice feature of the park. Now it's just weeds.
It reminded me of our infestation of swallows all along the top edge on the outside of our gym building at work. I liked going in that door to enter the facility. Mind you, I was a little concerned of bird droppings, but I loved seeing the crazy way these birds flew together, or should I say, really did not fly together. Mighty ducks they were not-no flying V's or any semblance of order. They just clumped and moved together like a flock of hyperactive children. Reminded me of the students inside the building.
One day while entering the building I noticed all the nests were gone. I don't know how the maintenance dudes did it...perhaps power washing? But all the crazy birds and their nests were gone. It was clean, sanitized, but devoid of life. I was sad. I'm sure they found new homes. I hope. It's possible some of the baby swallows were destroyed in the cleansing of the building. I understood they were a nuisance, but did we really have to give the extermination order?
Back in the early days of the church, the Mormons were a nuisance to the residents of Missouri and Illinois. They seemed to be gathering in droves. They encroached on the state's land They made their presence known. They could influence the vote. They not only were a nuisance, but they threatened the residents way of life. They had to be driven out-exterminated. According to the order by Gov. Lilburn W. Boggs, the Mormons were "in open avowed defiance of the laws, and having made war upon the people of the State...and must be exterminated or driven from the State if necessary for public peace." So legally you could exterminate a Mormon until 1976, when it was eliminated by Sen. Christopher Bond. There you go. I suppose like the crazy swallows and crazy teenagers, if you take away their nests and place of gathering, they'll be gone...or at least from your line of sight.
Death and destruction certainly don't reign supreme. Life prevails. People start again. People find a new place and carry on with life. As Pioneer day, celebrated in Utah every July 24th attests:
"We’ll find the place which God for us prepared, Far away in the West, Where none shall come to hurt or make afraid; There the Saints will be blessed."
And so they have. I am so proud to be a Mormon, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm grateful for the pioneers who preserved my faith, who kept it alive even with the threat of extermination...life prevails. Faith prevails.
.
A couple of months ago, the stake leaders decided to fill the area in with dirt because rowdy teens were using it for their drug parties or other unseemly activities. They thought the best way to drive out the nuisance was to destroy the gathering place; that will stop it, right? Or at least force them to continue their activities somewhere else where we can't see it, where they can't bother us. It made me sad. Not that I'm in to wild drug/sex parties, but it was just such a nice feature of the park. Now it's just weeds.
It reminded me of our infestation of swallows all along the top edge on the outside of our gym building at work. I liked going in that door to enter the facility. Mind you, I was a little concerned of bird droppings, but I loved seeing the crazy way these birds flew together, or should I say, really did not fly together. Mighty ducks they were not-no flying V's or any semblance of order. They just clumped and moved together like a flock of hyperactive children. Reminded me of the students inside the building.
One day while entering the building I noticed all the nests were gone. I don't know how the maintenance dudes did it...perhaps power washing? But all the crazy birds and their nests were gone. It was clean, sanitized, but devoid of life. I was sad. I'm sure they found new homes. I hope. It's possible some of the baby swallows were destroyed in the cleansing of the building. I understood they were a nuisance, but did we really have to give the extermination order?
Back in the early days of the church, the Mormons were a nuisance to the residents of Missouri and Illinois. They seemed to be gathering in droves. They encroached on the state's land They made their presence known. They could influence the vote. They not only were a nuisance, but they threatened the residents way of life. They had to be driven out-exterminated. According to the order by Gov. Lilburn W. Boggs, the Mormons were "in open avowed defiance of the laws, and having made war upon the people of the State...and must be exterminated or driven from the State if necessary for public peace." So legally you could exterminate a Mormon until 1976, when it was eliminated by Sen. Christopher Bond. There you go. I suppose like the crazy swallows and crazy teenagers, if you take away their nests and place of gathering, they'll be gone...or at least from your line of sight.
Death and destruction certainly don't reign supreme. Life prevails. People start again. People find a new place and carry on with life. As Pioneer day, celebrated in Utah every July 24th attests:
"We’ll find the place which God for us prepared, Far away in the West, Where none shall come to hurt or make afraid; There the Saints will be blessed."
And so they have. I am so proud to be a Mormon, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm grateful for the pioneers who preserved my faith, who kept it alive even with the threat of extermination...life prevails. Faith prevails.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)